I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
