we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
