My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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