CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
