I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
