Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
