that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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