it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
