Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
