I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
