He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
