just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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