I wanna bring you to show and tell
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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