oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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