Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Little spoons don't ask big questions
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
