if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
