My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
