where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
where am i from again
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
