I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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