just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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