He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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