IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
