Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
