one two three fourrrrnication!
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize