if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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