This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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