Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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