i don't like sucking hair
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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