You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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