AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
