i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
