he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
