matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
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