Swine flu. Run for my life!
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
