You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
