we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
