How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
