i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
