As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
