You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
