I wanna bring you to show and tell
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
