Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
