I saw his package. It spoke to me.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
