remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
