I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
operation have a gay friend backfired
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
