you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
