he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
