So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
