he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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