He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
