apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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