i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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