Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
