you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
i've created a new STD.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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